Discussion of "Dreamer 1.1" by DenisLaMinaccia

I am glad you kept this as a draft. First of all, welcome to SM. My initial comment has more to do with traditional form. There is nothing wrong with non-traditional! However, I would like to point out that this is about 3 times the length of a typical chapter around here. I suggest before publishing, break it up and post additional chapters underneath the original thread. Your writing is excellent. You do well with descriptive narrative, action, and dialogue. Keep up the good work.

Thank you! I was thinking about breaking it as well, and now I'm convinced. Thank you for approval as well. I will need that to boost my motivation to continue.

Welcome to SM!

Agreeing with al...this is rather long. It is also highly entertaining! I read your forum post about plot and...you're certainly following your position with this piece...lol.

I stumbled more than a couple of times with "lost" words, missing a "he" here, a "the" there, etc. I'm familiar with that. The writing is going very fast and the fingers aren't always keeping up.

I like the jumpy style. I didn't care much for your overly narcistic character, until towards the end when it appeared that he's delusional. That made him much more likeable to me...lol.

I'm looking (very much) forward to more of your work...;o)

Thanks! I'm glad I have found this site (as compared to FictionPress). I am a big fan of XX literature, where the flow is not essential (this is arguable statement, of course!), that's why I always feel free to jump if I want to. Again, I am very grateful for the warm comment! Will try not to disappoint with my next bit.

Oh, well, it's so hard to post in here. But anyways, glad you found a place where your great efforts are appreciated. :)
You've already known what I think of the story, just want to boost your writing with my comments. :-P
Keep up the good work!

Wonderful description.

Thank You! Im gonna try different approaches in the next chapters, for example 2.1 will be stream of consciousness (I hope I am good enought to do that)

Wonderful description.