Discussion of "October Chill: Surprise Visitor" by Dantesrevenge

Nice mash! Well written to my eyes, anyway. At first it seemed wrong that this is the next day, but re-reading the other two, it does work. I had intended Cowan's Ford to be the same day as chapter one, but I see that I never really said that it was. Subtle, but cool!

I personally didn't see how the pot reference continued the story, except to explain the short-term memory loss: perhaps more of a personal joke to the character? Anyway, it didn't detract, so I write that off as my (+/-) tastes ;o).

Lastly, Harold's accent took me off guard. Again, good, yet subtle. I guess by that I mean I had unstated preconceived ideas and so I noticed them, but to the "outside my head" readers, it adds rich details.

Great job and thanks for choosing my chapter for your first mash here!!!

Thanks Sai Sim, I'm really glad you dug my addition. I think you stirred the pot very well by introducing an additional character that wasn't in Mr. Nameless' family, and by changing the scene to NC instead of CO. I'm from NC and have water skiied along Lake Norman, so it helped me feel a bit of nastalgia as well. Also, Its cool you dug Harold's accent. Having lived there, I can tell you, it's not an exageration, people actually sound like that. But don't confuse it with ignorance. He's not stupid, at least not in my mind. Anyway, thanks again for your comments! By the way, the pot reference was just a joke, but It would explain his memory loss, don't you think? Too bad the contest is over or we might find out.