Underwear is a tricky thing. You must be concentrated and alert when putting it on, because if you are distracted suddenly, you may end up with two legs in one leg-hole, a dreadful mistake. Another common mistake is to put them on fast. This is not a good idea, however, because too fast and they might ride up and cause some unwanted pain. The best way to put underwear on is slow and steadily, with great concentration and alertness to the underwear. 

Underwear is a funny thing. It hides from you when it is being washed, and only allows you to find it when it is buried under heaps of dust behind the dryer. Underwear doesn't like being worn (Would you?). Instead, it requires periodic breaks from your nether regions. You, of course, don't understand this, but the underwear does, and so, hides from you until its fear of being alone returns it to your loins.

Underwear is a dreadful thing. When you sleep in it, it attacks you and your privates by strangling them in a 100% cotton blend of fury. It slowly creeps higher up your legs until it is within reach, and snags them in its evil threads. The only way to stop this travesty is to constantly reach down and pull them away from your crotch.

But we depend on underwear none the less. A love hate relationship it truly is.