Discussion of "Memoir Blues of a Chaos God Ch. 3: Divergence." by Cornelius

Cornelius, this was great writing. The problem though was the fact that first of all it was confusing. In the beginning you mention a few deaths...that I have no idea as to what and which deaths you are talking about. Then after that part it just gets confusing....with the monologue and that voice. Also this chapter seems disconnected with the last one. This should have tied the story in with the last chapter. Or else the last chapter would totally meaningless. What would be the point in building a whole background around Robby if this story has nothing to do with him. Great job anyway. Check out my contribution to ch 3 and tell me what you think. Thanks!

Rocklee, thank you for your comments and compliments

I feel you may have read it too hastily and not in full context with the first chapter.

The old woman was not named in the first chapter, but she is by far a more important character than Robby, because she spoke "the Eraser's" name. I feel that introduces the primary storyline/mystery. One could view Robby as inconsequential to the rest of the story, though there is certainly no reason other contributors would not be able to work him in and make him a central character in the remaining chapters.

One viewpoint could be that chapter 2 further illustrates the anatomy of an "erasure", with our dark protagonist still the most influential force and truly the center of attention.

It was not my intention to completely drop Robby, but he doesn't need to be mentioned in every chapter.

I feel there is a danger of focusing too much on Robby. Now that his memory of that entire family has been erased, his presence is optional, and I leave that, as well as the resolution of the mystery of the old woman (Ellen), the reason for the appearance of the brother, the significance of the man in the picture- to the writers of the coming chapters. There are only three to go, and the mystery should have some resolution, so I tried to move things along in that direction. Our protagonist still might and up in Lakeland, Florida if another writer wishes it so!

I also sought to introduced a sense of urgency. His time to solve the mystery, and find the oblivion he so desires is running out. He has broken the rules, and his days are numbered. If he can't solve the mystery in time he will face a terrible fate as punishment for his divergence, hence the name of the chapter.

Some of your questions I have intentionally not addressed for the integrity of the story. If I missed the mark, I am sure others will agree with you. None-the-less, it was a pleasure to write, and I am very pleased to be involved! :-)

Killer, cornelius. I wanna mash it...but ah...! I'm not sure if I can. So much needs to happen to move it toward some resolution. You seem to write the 1st person, somewhat haunting character very well. I see exactly what you did, exactly what you meant and it is totally right for the story. Bravo! Now, let me fool around with this a bit, and we'll see if I can come up with something. ;) foo

Thank you crystalfoo! I have no doubt that you totally get it. I look forward to reading what you come up with! (This one I would just enjoy finishing myself. I love this story!)

Cornelius! This is a great continuation. I love where you took this, you did a great job of amping up the tension and giving this storyline purpose. Smashing!

Thank you, honeygloom! It is such a strange story that I have been afraid some of it would not be understood. I am glad that you got it, and appreciate your comments. I love this one, and the rest of the project mashes are great, too. I hope to find time to mash a chapter for all of them!