We had so much.
So many good days and bad.
For that, you'll always be the best I've ever had.
We both knew we loved eachother and that would never change.
Then we seperated for reason I still cannot explain.
It was me, yes, but I can not for the life of me tell you why.
You were and always will be the very best thing that has ever happened in my life.
I am so deeply sorry for all the pain and doubts that I have ever caused you.
So many nights I wanted to call and tell you that I miss you.
That I wanted to be us again.
So many days when I could do nothing but think of you.
Wondering how you were and how you have been.
I knew I had changed, and that you would not approve.
So I kept you at a distance.
Such a dumbass move.
We never kept a secert from one another.
You knew everthing, as will as I.
No matter how bad, we could always let eachother cry.
You never once looked down upon me or judge me for things I've done.
For that I knew you were supposed to be the one.
We always did everything together.
Always stuck at the hip.
You knew what I was thinking, without me parting my lips.
You knew how to get through to me when no one else could.
You knew you had me from the start and that you always would.
I want to apoligize for everything that I have ever put you through.
I should have never wasted time, should have never held back. I should have known better, I shold've knew.
I could feel that things for you weren't so good.
But like the stubborn, iggnorgant bitch I was, I ignored my heart and withdrew.
Then the day came when I found out that you had to leave me.
When I was told that you had pasted, I dropped.
Like the first time I laid eyes on you, i fell on my ****.
Now I don't know what to do, my entire world has gone black.
No more phone calls, no more sudden trips.
I truley am completely lost without you.
Stuck in this life with no one to trust.
You are my best friend.
Without you, how will there ever be a us?
With you being gone, the world is empty.
No point of tryng.
All I want is to speak to you again.
To have that chance to tell you everything that I should have before that day came.
Since you've been gone, all my heart feels is this tirenchal rain.
I constantly catch myself talking to you like you're right here.
Or picking up the phone hoping that you'll lend a ear.
Then I break down when it hits me, your above me now.
At night when I go to bed, before I can close my eyes, you pop into my head.
I send you all my daily thoughts.
Hoping that you'll recive.
Then I sofly pray for you.
Asking that you get all the love you deserve.
I drift off to sleep, with a tear in my eye.
Hoping that when the day finally comes that I die, you'll be there with open arms and that great big smile.
Hopefully, it wont take long, and I'll see you in a very short while.