The Holy Bible
In the beginning,God created Adam and Steve. This lasted for about five minutes. Adam and Steve cried out to God,and said,"God help us! We do not want to be homosexuals!" God appeared in a glowing cloud,and spoke to Adam and Steve. God said,"That is your first lesson. Homosexuality is wrong. You wouldn't last five minutes as homosexuals. I am going to create two more people,they are called women. One woman is named Eve,the other woman is named Cindy. These two women will be yor mates,they will be your constant companions. Eve will be Adam's mate,and Cindy will be Steve's mate. God then waved his mighty hand,and magically created two women. Adam embraced Eve,and Steve embraced Cindy.
God said,"Now,the four of you shall be able to experience life,as it was meant to be! There are many things for you to learn. I will come back to see you,from time to time,just to check on you,and see how you are doing,but before I go,I must warn you about something. There is an evil character out there. He is named Satan. He can change himself into various forms. One of the more common forms he takes is the form of a snake.. Adam asked God what a snake looked like. God said,"A snake is a creature with a long,narrow body. It has no arms and legs. Satan made himself into this form because he believed it was a superior form." Eve asked what Satan was doing. God said,"He is corrupting plants. There are healthy plants here in the garden of Eden,and Satan is changing the DNA molecules in the plants to corrupt their structure. He is transforming them into something he calls 'narcotic' plants." Steve asked,"What are DNA molecules?" God said,"it is something you could not possibly understand. It will take the human race a long time to understand DNA molecules. When I created you,I used DNA to create your bodies. You are as mechanical as the DNA from which you are made." Cindy asked God what Satan will do. God said,"He will try to corrupt you. He will lie to you,he will try to trick you. You must resist the temptation that Satan lures you with."
God disappeared then. All was well in the garden of Edan. Adam and Eve,and Steve and Cindy lived there in peace.