The story so far:
Judas told the commander of a group of Roman soldiers that he knew where Jesus was. The Roman commander didn't know who Jesus was. Judas explained that Jesus was a criminal, and the Roman Empire wanted to arrest him for blasphemy. The Roman commander didn't want to be bothered with it, but finally he agreed to arrest Jesus. Jesus was brought into court, and a Roman soldier told him to sit down. The Roman soldiers who had arrested Jesus thought he was strange, because he didn't try to run away. He didn't struggle or protest, he willingly went along with them, when he was arrested. After Jesus sat down, they brought in his defense attorney.
The defense attorney sat down next to Jesus and said, "Hello, my friend, my name is Shyster, I am your defense attorney. Most criminals do not get a defense attorney, under Roman law, but the crime you are accused of carries a death penalty, so I was appointed to defend you." Jesus smiled, and said, "My faith in God is my defense". Shyster said. "Oh, dear, don't talk about God, the judge might take it the wrong way. You are accused of blasphemy, that is a very serious crime, you must stay silent during the preceedings, and I will try to do anything I can to get you set free". The judge came in and announced the beginning of the trial. He said, "The criminal, known as Jesus of Nazareth, is accused of the crime of blasphemy. He is represented by his defense attorney, known as Mister Shiloh Shyster. First, a witness for the prosecution will speak. I call Judas to the stand."
Judas came forward and walked up to the judge's bench. The Judge said, "Judas, I want you to explain, in your own words, why Jesus is guilty of blasphemy. I want you to describe the activities of Jesus, tell me what kind of person he is." Judas smiled, and said, "Yes,your honor. I have spent some time listening to Jesus, and I have heard many of his religious sermons. Although he claims to be a Jew, he is generally unfamiliar with Jewish religious tradition, and he knows very little about the religious beliefs of the Philistines. Due to his lack of religious knowledge, he makes up his own religious stories. His rambling, confused sermons often make complete and total departures from established religious tradition."
The judge raised his eyebrows, and asked, "Complete departures from religious tradition? Can you explain?" Judas said, "Yes. There was a Chinese man who spoke to Jesus, and he said that in China, there are many people who are followers of Confucious. The great sage Confucious taught that there are basically two classes of men, there is an upper class consisting of merchants and intellectuals, and there is a lower class that Confucious called 'the little people'. Jesus said that Confucious was wrong. Jesus said that there are no 'little people', and that all people are seen equally by God. Then, Jesus spoke to a man from India. In India, people believe in a caste system, which divides people into distinct social classes called 'castes'. The Brahmins are the highest caste, the Untouchables are the lowest caste. Jesus told the Indian that the caste system was a system established by sinners, and he said that all men are equal, he said that no man should be bound by caste. So you see, your honor, Jesus is not only trying to upset the social order here in the Middle East, he is also trying to upset the social order in India and China."
The Judge said, "Alright. Now let Jesus speak in his own defense. If he does not wish to speak, his defense attorney will be given the opportunity to speak for him." Shyster stood up and began to speak, saying, "Your honor, Jesus was just telling people what they wanted to hear! He did not mean to commit the crime of blasphemy! He told an Indian who was worried about the caste system what he wanted to hear, he told a Chinese man who was worried about Confucious what he wanted to hear, this has no bearing on the Roman Empire or it's laws. You can say what you want about Confucious or..." Suddenly Jesus stood up, and told Shyster to stop speaking. Jesus said, "Be silent, Shyster, I will speak for myself." Jesus then turned to the judge and said, "Your court is a court of sinners who have turned away from God. While you wallow in sin, you cannot see the world of beauty and love that is all around you. You cannot see the beauty of the green trees in the forest, you cannot see the beauty of the clear blue water in the lakes and seas. There is no love in your hearts, and no hope in your souls. But you are not lost. God has not forsaken you. You can redeem yourself through God's love. You can cleanse yourself through your faith in God. If you pray, God will hear your prayers. God's love will conquer the world, and God's love will wash the sins from this world."
The Judge stood up and shouted, "You say that God's love will conquer the world? The only thing that will conquer the world is the Roman Empire! The Roman Empire brings order and prosperity to the world! The Roman Empire creates jobs for slaves, and also for free men! The Roman Empire shall not be insulted! This trial has gone on long enough! I will deliver my verdict now, without hearing any more arguments! Jesus is guilty of blashpemy! He is guilty and I sentence him to death!" According to Roman legal traditions, if a judge demanded a death sentence, a Roman soldier was supposed to come forward, to represent the execution, in lieu of an executioner, if an acutal executioner was not present in the courtroom. A Roman soldier stepped up, and bowed to the judge, and said,"Your honor, I represent the execution of Jesus, it shall be carried out in the usual way, Jesus shall be tied to a wooden cross, and he shall be left to die." The Judge said, "No! That's not enough! I don't want you to tie him up to the cross with ropes, and just let him hang there for a few days while he dies, I want you to nail him to it! Get a hammer and nails and nail him to the cross!"