Discussion of "Society's Lies A poem" by Althorian

I liked it without the last verse. I have done that before with poems and song lyrics. I find they are different than fiction, they have a way of being sacred in their inspiration and tend to resist later expansion. Save the new ideas for another poem. Without the last verse I give it a five. I'll give it a 4.5 now. I like you style, it is so accessible and profound at the same time. I have said before, you wrestle with life's largest questions in a way that can be embraced by any reader.
I can tell you have developed your poetic sense more than your fictional prose, but I have great faith in your ability to do both. Keep at it, I want to read more!

I disagree with cornelius. I found that the last verse really summed the feelings and ideas that had until that point only surrounded the words.