'It would've had to have been the biggest jar of honey anyone had ever seen. The poor bees of the world were exhausted. So much so in fact that they went on strike and refused to pollinate any plants whatsoever. As a result, all the flora and fauna started drying up, people got up in the morning angry as all hell and turned into cereal killers, cows refused to give milk because the grass was becoming tasteless, and all the bears of the world had to hibernate 12 months of the year lest they were lynched by unruly mobs of honey-loving hippies ready to beat them to death with over-abundant lashings of stinkweed and rotwort.

Fleas, of course, everyone hibernates from. Especially when they're the size of pomeranians and made of some sort of shiny metal alloy. If the cute & cuddly killer Kodiak curmudgeons weren't bad enough, they had to bring their own little pests with them.

Such a grizzly outlook for earthlings, certainly nothing to panda. Next time you're invited to the teddy-bears' picnic, be sure that you're not on the menu.

This is Reb Sneed, reporting live from downtown Bearspaw at his punnerific best wishing all you survivors the best of luck with your own koala-ty time. I'm outta here . . . godamn care bears, they've certainly got a lot to answer for, that's all I've got to say on the matter . . . hey Adrian, where's my bleedin' gummys, I need a sugar fix.'