For the rest of the time, we stayed focused on the work before us. Talking about denominators somehow made it easier for me to ignore the dull ache in my chest.

The hour passed all too quickly. Alex stood and shuffled toward the door. The guard turned to lead him back to his cell, but Alex paused. “Miss Tracy…”

It took all my effort to look at him, afraid that I’d break. I took a deep breath and forced myself to smile. “Yes?”

“I – I’ll see you next week.” He turned away quickly and left.

My throat tightened. “See you,” I whispered to the empty room.

***

Rita watched as I came out of the ladies’ room again, my cheeks and nose too red to blame on allergies. Shaking her head, she leaned on the desk. “Tracy, honey, you can’t get so wrapped up in these kids. It’s just not healthy.”

“Not healthy to hope?” I retorted.

She gave me a reproachful look. “It’s healthy to hope, sure, but you’re doing more than that. You’re getting emotionally involved. Kids like Alex never change.” At my expression, she held up her hands. “I’m just saying it like it is, honey. They grow up with no real parents to keep them in line, in a neighborhood where might makes right… Pretty soon their ‘homies’ become their top priority in life. And maybe he wanted to do better – for your sake, at the very least – but it just doesn’t work out that way. Not in this world.”

I shook my head. “It isn’t right.”

“No, it isn’t.” She met my eyes. “But it was his choice to make. That’s no reflection on you, got it?”

But there should’ve been something – something I could’ve said, or done, that would’ve changed things for him. Some magic key that would’ve opened his eyes to the potential he had, to the heights he could reach if he just stayed out of trouble…

And yet, Rita was absolutely right. I had known the last time he was released that he would just wind up back in here.

“Yeah,” I finally said. “I’ll see you later.”

Her smile was sympathetic. “You’re a bright point in his life, you know. He’s lucky to have you around.”

I couldn’t have spoken if I wanted to. Instead, I offered her a weak smile and waved my goodbye before escaping to the safety of my car.

***

David was home early, playing some smash-em-up racing game on the Xbox with Suzie and Andrea.

“Mommy!” Suzie shouted, jumping up. “Hit pause, okay, Andi?”

“You’re the one who put your controller down,” Andrea replied.

“Hey!” Suzie protested, stopping halfway to me. She turned on her sister with a ferocious pout.

David had already paused the game. “Don’t worry, pumpkin, we won’t start again until you’re ready.”

Satisfied, Suzie spun again, her curly pigtails flying, and threw her arms around me. “Hi, Mommy! Daddy picked us up from Miss June’s house and we got ice cream!”

I gave her a squeeze, grateful for the comfort of family. “Did you get some for me?”

“No, silly, it would’ve melted,” she replied, darting back to the couch. “Okay, I’m ready!”

David laughed. “Let your sister and I say hi to Mommy, will ya?”

Andrea waved in my direction, several black bracelets sliding along her wrist with the motion. Since she turned twelve, she had decided she was too cool for open displays of affection. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey yourself,” I replied. I set my purse on the entry table and hung up my coat. “How’d that history test go?”

“It was stupid.”

“Andi said a bad word!” Suzie declared shrilly.

Andrea threw a pillow at her. “Quit calling me that, shrimp.”

“Andi, Andi, Andi,” Suzie retorted.

“Brat!”

“That’s enough,” David broke in, giving each of them the stink eye before coming to my side and wrapping an arm around my waist. “Or we turn the game off.”

“But I’m winning!” Suzie whined.

“Then you’d better stop bugging your sister,” I said.

David pulled me closer and I relaxed into his embrace.

“Rough day?”

I nodded.

“You relax, then. The girls and I will take care of dinner.”

I pulled back enough to give him a look. “Ordering up take-out is not taking care of dinner.”

He gave me that charming, boyish grin of his, the one he knows I can’t resist. “A little Chinese now and then never hurt anyone.”

“I want cashey chicken!” Suzie hollered.

“Cashew chicken, dope,” Andrea said.

As the girls resumed their name-calling fest, I smiled at David. “Fine. Order extra pot stickers this time, okay?”

“Consider it done.”

As he returned to break up world war three in the living room, I slipped into the kitchen to pour a glass of merlot. Carrying the glass carefully, I crossed through the master bedroom into what Suzie called the ‘Mommy Daddy bathroom.’ A nice, hot soak would help wash the day away.

I had gotten the water a little too hot, but I hardly cared as I settled in and took a sip from my glass. I was grateful that David was in a generous mood today. After nearly fifteen years of marriage, there were still occasional days when he would brush me off and disappear into the den, leaving me to juggle dinner, the girls, and whatever cleaning needed to be done. But he usually recognized when I needed a break, and I had learned to recognize when he needed one, too. We didn’t always get it perfect, but days like this made up for any mistakes along the way.

Alex.

I shook my head. The last thing I wanted was to think about him. Like Rita said, it was inevitable. I had known it myself. There was nothing I could do now but come in once a week to be that bright point, to make sure he knew that someone cared.

But my mind wouldn’t let him go, no matter how hard I tried. There had to be something I could do to make a difference. There just had to be.