I sat in the middle of the stream, sputtering water as I tried to get my wits about me. The icy water was so cold, my body was already going numb. The fairy flitted around me, spewing out unintelligible sentences punctuated with mid-air stamps of his tiny foot. I tried to stand up, but slipped once again on the mossy rocks under the surface, soaking both myself and the fairy with a spray of frigid water.

"OY!" The fairy buzzed about my face. "You 'ear a bloody word I said? Give me yer 'and!"

My limbs were so frozen, I couldn't really tell if my attempt to raise my arm had succeeded. Apparently it had, because the fairy gripped one of my fingers and suddenly I was sitting on the grass beside the stream, staring like a slack-jawed idiot. Apparently, beside being naked and foul-mouthed, fairies were also incredibly strong.

The fairy was mumbling to himself now, fussing again as he flew around me. "Big ol' clumsy gettin' in me home and can't e'en keep 'er feet under 'er. Gotta get 'er all warmed up now, 'r she'll freeze 'ere an' I'll be stuck wit' her."

To my surprise, I was starting to feel warmer, though my pajamas still gushed water onto the ground around me. At that point, though, I was surprised that anything surprised me anymore. Naked fairies with foul mouths, wee men, and fairy bones...

My eyes returned to the stream. "I guess I was sitting in your graveyard, then."

"Wot?" The man stopped his flitting for a moment and landed on my lap, giving me a curious look. "Oh, I see it. Yer th' lass me mate Labhras was on about. Th' lass 'at gave me sister a proper burial."

"That was your sister?"

He chuckled and motioned to the water. "We all comes from th' water, love. They're all me sisters, if ya looks at it straight." He turned. "Oy! Labhras! Y'ain't skulkin' about again, 're ya?"

And there he was again, sitting cheerfully only a few feet away and puffing contentedly on his pipe. "No skulkin' here, Irial. Ya know I'm always about."

The shock of being confronted by living, breathing creatures of legend must have been wearing off, because instead of wonder at his appearance, I only felt anger. "You!"

Labhras' eyebrows raised. "What's that?"

"You! What're you about, then? Making women think they're going crazy, then luring them out in their pajamas so they can go and fall in a stream?" Granted, the accusations weren't entirely fair. It wasn't his fault I'd been in my pajamas, nor that I'd fallen into the stream. But I was too cross to care. "Is this what happens, then? I go crazy an' they lock me away for it, an' you just keep popping your grinnin' jack at me every time I turn around?"

Irial was so startled by the wrath in my voice that he took a step backward and almost fell off my leg. "'Ere now, lass, wot's this about?"

Tears were blurring my vision, much like the night before, which only added to my ire. "Is that what you do? Find lonely, unloved women an' make 'em crazy?"

Labhras took the pipe out of his mouth and pointed it at me. "You're the one what picked up the fairy bones, miss. Ya can't go about playin' in the fairy word without expecting to get some attention from our types."

I didn't want his explanation to make sense. I wanted to be angry at him, a justified and righteous anger. But at his words, it all deflated and I was just a pouty housewife in soggy pajamas. I sniffled. It figures that magical creatures would just annoy me.

Magical creatures. My head snapped up again and I faced Labhras. "Wait. I did you guys a favor, right? By putting the fairy bones in the water? So don't you guys owe me a wish or something?"

Both of the small men suddenly had identical expressions, with their eyebrows near their hairlines. "A wish?" Labhras asked. "I think you're confusing me with a genie, love. I'm a leprachaun. We're supposed to..." He paused and turned to Irial. "What was it the humans think we leprechauns do?"

"Gold," Irial replied instantly, looking less frightened now that I was no longer angry.

"Oh, right," Labhras nodded. "We hide gold. And something about lucky charms, too."

"I 'ad some of 'at once," Irial said. "Tasted like unicorn crack, it did."

I was starting to feel like I'd fallen into a bizarre dream, but I shook it off and persisted. "But you're magical, aren't you? Both of you? There must be something you can do." My voice trembled a little and more tears welled in my eyes.

"'Ere now, lass, no need fer tears," Irial said, patting my leg. "Tell us wot's got yer heart in such a twist."

I almost rubbed my sleeve across my dampened face, but caught myself just in time as drips of cold water continued steadily falling from the cuff. "My husband doesn't love me anymore. He won't even give me a kiss goodnight. There's got to be something you can do," I pleaded.

Labhras shook his head. "Sorry, love. Not a creature in existence can change a person's feelings. Well, except the Good Lord Himself, and He chooses not to. Free will, all that. Not one of His best moves, if you ask me." He paused and glanced skyward. "No disrespect, Sir, of course. But even You have to admit 'smade things a lot more difficult."

A low rumble of thunder came from overhead. Oh, sweet Mary and Joseph, I thought. Labhras is going to get hit with a lightning bolt, and here I sit right next to him, soaking wet.

But to my surprise, neither of us were fried. In retrospect, the thunder hadn't sounded all that ominous. More like a chuckle.

Labhras tipped his hat respectfully toward the clouds, then returned his attention to me. "Sorry, but there's nothing we can do."

"There must be something. You're a leprechaun, for goodness' sake. Can't you at least tell me what to use for a love potion?"

Irial shook his head. "Lahbras, if th' missus 'ears about this an' we din't do a thing ta help 'er, I'l ne'er 'ear th' end of it."

The leprechaun took a few more puffs on his pipe before answering, but finally nodded. "Go get three eggs."

I stared at him. "Three eggs?"

"'Sright. Three eggs. Bring 'em back, and we'll work our magic on 'em. And when your husband comes home, you make him those eggs just how he likes them."

"Three eggs?" I couldn't quite believe what he was saying.

"Ya deaf, lass?" Irial demanded. "'E already said it twice!"

"Right," I said, scrambling to my feet. "I'll be right back. Don't go away!" I waited until they both nodded their assent before turning back toward my house. I stared at the half-submerged log and thought twice about walking across it, choosing to vault the stream instead. The action drew a sharp cry of concern from Irial, but I managed to stick the landing with only a little stumble on the slippery mud on the other side.

Eggs? I wondered as I ran as fast I could to my home. How could eggs make a difference? It was impossible to believe, and yet there I was, in my kitchen, finding the three nicest-looking eggs I could. Labhras said they'd do magic on the eggs. Maybe eggs work better than drinks for love potions.

Labhras and Irial were still waiting patiently when I returned to the stream, and now there were a few neat stepping stones making a safe crossing only a few feet from the log. I darted over the stones and knelt beside Irial, holding out the eggs. I felt that I should say something, but I was panting too hard.

"A'right," Labhras said, waving a hand over the eggs. "Like I said, when he gets home, you make those eggs just how he likes them."

I hadn't caught my breath yet, but that couldn't stop the next words from escaping my mouth. "That's it? That's all it takes?"

"'Re you a leprechaun?" Labhras demanded.

"No."

"Do ya know how leprechaun magic works?"

I looked down. "No."

"'Sright." He nodded sagely and took another puff on his pipe. "Go on, then."

I stared at the eggs in my hands, wanting them to look different, but they still looked the same as before. "Okay." I stood, then glanced down at the two little men. "Thank you."

Irial nodded and buzzed back into his log home. Labhras was already gone.