I understand the difficulty of having to cut scenes - even fun scenes - for length and tension purposes. You did a fantastic job of leaving enough clues for the reader to fill in the details. Frankly, I'm glad you didn't include the scene where Missy does a Miss Kitty impression - leaving that part implied is far more delicious.

Great to hear the 'behind the scenes.' I especially love the origins of Ethan's name! Ha.

Agreed with everything Cheese said! I should've known that such a talented author wouldn't have too much trouble tying together all those loose ends. You kicked some serious hindquarters. And yes - excellent incorporation of the title. Brilliant.

Any word on the last chapter?

Fantastically written, as both the others said. Great elements, great humor, and you kept the characters consistent.

Sorry, love, but I unfortunately agree with their other point - too short. Sticking with plain writers' lingo, concise is good, and it's always good to leave the reader wanting more. In terms of mashing, though, you've left a lot up to Wolfram here. He has to determine what the mystery item in two of the vaults is. He has to figure out how Miss Kitty and The Hawke wind up coming into play. He has to figure out how Bill gets his hands on the keycard (if at all) and whether Bill is more loyal to Cindy's plan or Jimmy's. Or if Bill has something else in mind entirely. Additionally, he basically has to get through the entire heist AND conclude the story. You moved the plot forward concisely, but it feels as if you didn't add anything to the story - like any answers to the above question - leaving all the hard work in the next writer's hands.

I think I would have been satisfied with just a few more concise paragraphs - get them to the point of breaking in, or a near-miss with the owners, or to a point of confrontation with Bill over the little game he's playing.

Don't take this the wrong way. I'm not trying to be mean. I agree that we don't need any new added plot elements or distractions now. And I like your style. I just feel that this really needed to get the plot moved forward more so everything isn't left on Wolfram's lap.

And I've had another writer scold me for describing a building as 'sprawling along a walkway'.

Amazing wordsmithing, my friend. Amazing.

*Gasp* I'm so offended!

:)

Variable: The Time Warp (the dance)

I noticed the Neil/Neal switch, but it works to just go with it. This story's developing a nicely sinister tone, and your chapter includes a realistic response to chaotic madness. Nice :)

Hilarious. I think I've met someone like this.

Great chapter! :) Now go read mine!

Just kidding. Excellent points made - I was contemplating mentioning something about how spamming the forums isn't necessarily the best way to get attention, but you put it well here.

I appreciate the part you've played in helping reinvigorate the site and bring back some of us 'golden oldies.' And to my understanding, there should be a new contest coming soon, with any hope.

As we learned with the various shenanigans you mentioned, some people just don't get this site, and some people never will. But for those of us who do get it, it's been fantastic.

I'm with you, my friend. I'm not a fan of the self-publishing business out there, but I know the tools are increasing (and there are some, a few, self-publishing sites that don't exist just to suck money out of the pockets of hopeful writers).

It does take a lot of courage to go this route, and I admire that. I wish you the best as you struggle against the system to promote your book.