Discussion of "May 13, 2008" by Acee_Andrade

This is good. You kept the storyline. I was not planning on a birthday for him but it does give the story an added twist. Work on proofreading your work to correct spelling mistakes. The only thing I ask of you if you add other chpts is to keep the story serious and not add any unneeded bulls-t. I am satisfied with your addition to this story.

Much obliged. I found your start to be filled with wonderful possibilities.

5 thats all i have to say, nice description good emotion....

that's word, hunts. I appreciate that.

Super job! I think you followed the start chapter perfectly and gave the character build a few more building blocks. I especially liked this sentence: "I'm beginning to think that they know about me, the urges, the red sprays I envision as they talk at me. Yes, at me. They talk as if I'm some Silly Putty man." Very visual, very good. 5 points.

That's word, Thanks!!