Discussion of "Zachery" by Acee_Andrade

Acee --
Nice entry. Because of Amos and Mary, I suspect this is a continuation of October Chill:Mary? Maybe Psycho requested for you to sub for him? If so, could you repost it behind wwb's chapter and yank this one to avoid confusion?
If that's the case, Peter's children were named Hannah (firstborn) and Micah. If not and it's coincidence, then no worries.
Your descriptions are tangible - I like the coffee, the artwork, the baseball glove. I'm not sure if/how the storyline was advanced, though. Powerful vignettes, yes, but where's the momentum?
(3)

I appreciate the comment. You're right about the continuation. Well, you live and you learn, right?
You're also correct on the propulsion of the story, there wasn't much here. To much pretense and not enough movement.

I agree with Nash. I loved the theme of the smells that you carried through much of the work, making the scene real and tangible. But it seemed to lose the sense of urgency and tension that the previous chapter had.

I appreciate that. Thanks. You're right about the urgency. It was a little flat.