Discussion of "Re-Up" by Acee_Andrade

Great job. Whole story seemed like it could be a reality. Little details like when both characters look up toward the roof makes it very enveloping. Can't wait for chapter two. five stars from me.

Nice jobe Acee! I thought the dialogue was really good, very believable.

Great descriptions. I especially liked your choice for certain words, like: “He wipes the coals from his eyes…”
And,
“His mouth slips into cotton...”
I also felt like the dialogue was dead on.
nice work.

Great start! Loved the details

Very urban...different...moved along nicley.

"A half-smoked blunt and a few sips of water from a dirty styrofoam cup made breakfast."
If a blunt will make breakfast, that's a seriously good blunt. I want one.
For real.

ya'll are too kind, I appreciate it.

'Not dirty, just tussled'… gives a lasting impression, and with its fresh urban-esque vibe, I can almost hear the voice of the city.

Think you've got the makings of an interesting plot here. Though, it's short, I definitely wanted to read more. The dialogue is quite believable, too. Not sure if I liked the part when you speak directly to the reader...maybe either remove it or bump it up in other parts, too, to keep the voice consistent.

Really incredible characterization. I want to know the main character's story--you've done a great job of sucking us in to Beach's world.

The dialogue seems a little forced, though. Is it necessary that we hear this conversation about a drug deal? This conversation seems like a wasted opportunity to learn more about our main character.

You've kind of taken the "easy way out" by ending your first chapter with Beach falling asleep. I would have liked to see something else happen at the end.

Overall, terrific job. I'd like to see more.

All the comments are appreciated, welcomed, and necessary. Thank you all for reading.