Discussion of "Deep Freeze" by Ace

Ace... Wonderful descriptions of the cold, of Kim's shaking and shuddering. And the blood... Thankfully, I've never been quite that cold. Though, now, I am officially shivering. ;-)

Good job.

Man, I could FEEL that cold. I've been there, done that and survived without even looking for the T-shirt. Your description is absolutely precise. Fabulous writing, Ace!

Chilly tale. Congratulations. A job well done.

I need hot chocolate. Geez Ace that fantastic. Brought me
back to winter days in Utah. I don't think it's quite
THAT cold there but my goidness did you do a smashing job
of making me remember it that way.

Thanks everyone! I'm glad that everyone seems to appreciate the description in the piece, because I did "research" for it. -30 degrees out, and shrugging out of my coat to the astonishment of five other people at the bus stop. I had to do it quite a few times over the course of a month to get as much detail as I wanted (by the time I got on the bus and warmed up to the point of being able to hold a pen, some of the memory had already faded). Was worth it at the time, still seems worth it now... but I'm still getting odd looks from fellow riders. I think that they think I'm on drugs!
Can you find where the actual description of what I experienced ends and where the fiction begins, in terms of just the cold? I'm curious.

I KNOW you were on drugs!! LMAO. Seriously, you really went whole hog on researching this story. I mean...duh-amn! Tell me, please, that you don't do that sort of thing for every story you write! Not a question of whether it was worth the time, you know....was it worth the pain? I need to re-read, but I'll get back to you reference your final question...;o)

whoops, I should have attached my last comment here. But no, I don't do this hands-on kind of stuff for EVERY story I write. But I do research for everything I write. Unless it's purely anecdotal and I know what I'm talking about-- everything else I research. I'm calling my dad for some information on the second part of this--I'll be dealing with something in his line of expertise. It could well punch a whole in my ending, but at least it'll be factually accurate. Nothing sucks worse than having someone read your story and then say "that would never happen that way!" Then you feel a right tit.

Feel a "right tit"? Is that a bad thing? What about feeling a left tit? I once saw a lady in a carnival that had a middle tit....hmmmm, LOL.

.........
*facepalm*
Are you and Sav related by any chance? I'd swear I've had this conversation before.

Well...uhhh, Sav wrote me a comment and said something about having my babies...but, er...no, we're not related. What was the conversation? Did you explain to him the difference between "feeling the right tit" and "feeling the left tit" or what?

Heh, no, you guys just have a similar sense of humour. And I've had to explain just about everything about ....um... those things... to Sav. The poor boy is quite naive.

LOL...

You didn't just call me naive, didja? Nawwwww.

Well.... are you? I wouldn't know!

Now, that is dedication to one's craft. I will give this another read, Ace and let you know if I can find where reality ends and fiction begins.

So, let me take a stab at where the fiction begins. The clichè "too cold to snow" is not one hundred percent true, but it is almost impossible to snow, or have blowing snow in ultra cold environments. There's a long technical explanation for this, but bottom line; the colder it is, the less water vapor there is in the air. Dry air equals no water - nothing to form rain or snowflakes. Clouds can't form, blowing snow is impossible because the cold has "freeze dried" the flakes to icy crystals. So, everywhere that you mentioned "blowing snow" would be the fictional parts. Yes? No? Maybe? Do I win a prize? LOL.

Heh, no, there was blowing snow. Only it was mostly snow that had already fallen. Since it was so cold, the individual flakes/ice pellets didn't pack at all, so when the wind gusted the snow blew until you couldn't tell that it wasn't actually coming out of the sky. Some of the drifts we got were monstrous.

Hmmm, so...you're, like...telling me I'm wrong!!
You've sure got a lot of nerve, young man! LOL.
OK...so when Djinn doesn't get it either, are you going to tell us?
*sniff* I still think I'm right, anyway....I'm gonna do some research!

Feel free! I was there-- there was snow!

Heh, will your research entail standing outside in a winter storm? If so, come visit-- at least we can keep each other warm! ;)

HELL NO!! Just a little reading is all. But, I believe you, regardless of what the experts have to say on the subject...;o)

Oh. Pity. I had hot chocolate ready and everything.

Depends. Does the story work? If it does, it's SOOOO worth it. Luckily, there were no long-term ill effects. The insanity was well-rooted before I willingly put myself in deep freeze. :) Oh, and it's not done yet. Part two is pending. Even though I rather like it standing on its own.

Although I gave you five stars, I have a problem with the story; I read it a week ago, and I instantly knew it was great and wanted to write and subsequent chapter. After mentally persuing many possible storylines, I realized the flaw: this story is complete and perfect in of itself. Can't be added to...no way!

Heh... thank you very much! That is one of the nicest comments I've ever received on the site! And I could kiss you for the five stars!

I will be posting a part two though, so I suggest you make peace with the idea. ;)

I'll believe it, when I see it:)

Wow. This is just a brief snapshot of a moment, but you've given it power, intensity, and cold. Bitter, biting cold. You owe me a hot chocolate. =D And I do agree - it holds very well as a story in and of itself. But I look forward to seeing where you go with it!!!

Heh, now you guys are making me nervous. Especially since the story really switches gears. It was meant to be written all in one part, but writing fatigue and a good deal of general life stress forced me to cut it into two parts-- I'm worried that because of that the shift from part one into part two will be a bit more jolting than it would have been had it all been one piece. It was written with the second half always being the goal, but after the first half was written it stood alone so well that I decided to get it out there rather than wait for completion. I'm a bit worried that when I finally put out part two that it will read as though I'm mashing with myself, instead of it being a seamless transition from the first to second part.

And one hot chocolate, coming up!

Don't worry about it, Ace. You're a great writer, and if it's how you envisioned the story, then go for it. It IS your story, after all :)

Sorry for jumping in over a year late, but I'm new here. Just finished reading all your stories, Ace. More, more!
You have a tremendous gift for writing a vivid and visceral account that takes you right into the character's head & feelings. When it's this good, it almost doesn't matter if it's fact or fiction (except to the writer who lived through it, of course!)
I'm the critical type (product of too many smarmy writer's workshops, I guess), but can find little or nothing to pick at in your technique. Well--only one thing in this one--in the second paragraph after the prolog--you use the word "wind" two different ways in too short a space. She sees the counter "wind" down, and then the next thing is wind as in windy. This is like a visual pun that I don't think you want here. Since it's a story about the cold and the wind, the first use is misleading because you expect "wind" to be--well--windy. It takes the reader out of the story a bit while he tries to figure out which use you mean.
That's absolutely the only glitch I saw in it, though. I apologize for going on so long about it, but I like the story so much I want it to be absolutely perfect.

BTW, I'm on the south side of Lake Ontario, so we get all the wind you guys send over here. Lake effect storms, yippee!