Discussion of "Stovetop" by Ace

Great mash, Ace! In particular, I think you kept the voice consistent and moved the story forward quite well.

Will we see the crockpot come to life, perhaps? What about the mysterious, one paragraph, female character in Al's first chapter? Does she reappear? Lots of ways to go and your closer left it wide open...;o).

I wondered how anyone could mash the old Crockpot. Ace, you have impressed the hell outta me. You not only kept the voice consistent, multiplied the sexual undertones, but also added the possibility that he is more than socially-challenged...psychotic perhaps? That opens up more possibilities for continued mashes than my poorly-penned original chapter allowed. Great job! How's the dog?

Are you kidding me?? Poorly-penned?? That story had me frickin' rolling on the floor, which is quite embarassing when you're reading it on a city bus!! Okay, maybe not literally rolling on the floor, but giggling so hard that people turned to stare. That's 99% of the reason that I picked it! And there's nothing as fun as a good psychosis to get the party started. Really glad you liked it -- it was fun and challenging to write! (The Pup is doing better. We don't think she's adjusting well to the meds though, she's stumbling around a lot and her back end is pretty weak)

Outstanding, perticularly the tiny ceramic sniffle! Brillant addition to the story. I do have to say that my favorite paragraph was the one describing the... "a bit more, a little bit more..." of the contents of the can coming out. I've always been oddly interested in the action myself! lol I love this weird, quarkiness of the voice! Too fun!

I love it, Ace. Fantastic job bringing into the story the element of possible mental instability. I can't wait to see where this goes.

Oh, and I agree with Dkk about the soup coming out of the can. Brilliant addition. Well done!

Brilliant! Above comments sum up everything perfectly. Not much to add. Story reminded me of watching my sister make soup when we were younger. Fantastic.

Dkk, JD, and Beth-- wow, thanks you guys! Glad you liked the bit about the soup coming out of the can -- I always thought creamy canned soups looked really shady, no matter how they tasted. Glad to see the description, if not the shared sentiment, was embraced.

One question though, did anyone think it was too short? I covered everything I wanted to, and thought I left a good opening for the next person, but I felt uncomfortable with the brevity of the piece. Granted, there will be a lot more chapters to come with this, but if I need longer chapters, best i find out now than later.

It wasn't too short, don't worry. You covered everything, and that gives it it's lenghth. It really was brilliant.

Not too short. I think each story in the Masher's Round will require different lengths of chapters. This length fit perfectly with the timing of the overall story.

Hi-stinkin-larious. You maintained the original voice, as noted. And I think the reason everyone (including myself) picked up on the pouring (or lack thereof) of the soup as one of the best moments is because, well, it was. It's something natural, real, relatable - we've all had to scoop clumpy soup from a can like that! And you wrote it in such a way to emphasize and draw out that humor - brilliantly done!

Fantastic job, Ace. All of my comments were made by others above, but I can't help myself:

The voice was consistent and I love the ceramic sniffle. I actually felt sorry for the little crockpot.

djinn- Yeah, me too! I was so indignant reading the original chapter, how the guy was gathering the ingredients... and then changed his mind and went for instant soup instead! I kept thinking, "You BASTARD!" I wanted to keep writing this one, but I had too many ideas, and it just seemed a good place to stop. Just too much fun. Can't wait to see where it goes next!

terrific bit of writing. i was instantly there. i really enjoy the way you use words. it was realistic to me.

Awesome! This had me laughing. I can't believe no one has commented on the hilarity of the vulgar pea soup. We never had pea soup while growing up, but not for that reason... lol And the chopping of the cylindrical soup into more managable pieces... Brilliant.