I've finally concluded Speechless, for those interested.
Sorry it took like a year to get around to it.

I don't know if this alerts you or anything, but I have concluded the story. Sorry it's so late in coming.

When I started reading this, I said to myself, "Aw man, it's just a long-winded essay about how this guy likes garbage," and I skipped to the end. Then my eyes skimmed over the second last paragraph, and I said, "Wait, what?"
Reading over it more thoroughly, I found that this was no ordinary long-winded essay about how much you like garbage.
Well played, garbage man. Well played.

Speechless part 9 is up.

Speechless part 8 is up.

Speechless part 7 is up.

I haven't been on here in forever, but coming back, I've seen that a lot of you have enjoyed my last contribution, Speechless.
I actually had all the characters fully explored, all the endings done up with string, (in my head at least) but things came up and I stopped writing for a while and everything sort of leaked out.
I came back here on a whim and saw that people actually seemed to like it.
I've thrown on an ending in part 5 and 6, so I hope you enjoy.

I saw all your other comments (thank you very much!) all asking me for an ending, so I thought I'd tack on a kill 'em all ending for your amusement. Originally, this and part 5 were going to be an alternate ending to the story, as I am going on vacation for a while, and won't be able to write much. While writing though, I saw something I liked that I could jump off of, so once I come back, I may continue from here. No promises though.

I liked the whole thing, but in some parts it felt for me like you were overly-descriptive. Not insanely over the top, but it felt like a little overeating; nothing a little pepto-bismol won't fix.

Yeah. Pretty much everything was made up except the sandwich.
With the footnotes, I actually eeny meeny miny moed between right after the paragraph or at the end. At the end won, but then I had supper and forgot about it.