StoryMash Creative Storytelling Forum

Here is my alternate Dragonball story for those who are Dragonball fans. Those who aren't are also welcome to read and comment.

Here is the link to story:
http://storymash.com/u/krchmarus/nadatepo/
My English is good, but there are some miss-ups here and there, so bear with me :D

It's still in progress. Any suggestions will be very much appreciated. Any comments and votes are also welcome.