Collaborative Creative Writing Community

OK, so I missed the show. Here’s what happened: I was in Wal-Mart buying a shovel and some heavy duty black garbage bags. When I got up to the register I realized I didn’t have my wallet. I put my accoutrements to the side and left to run home, get my wallet, and come back. I reached home only to find my neighbor blocking my entrance. Sugar, she needed. I had none. Could I possibly spare an egg? No. I didn’t have those either. She insisted I must and shoved her way into the house to ransack the fridge. Hmm, rude, I thought, as I plunged an eight inch butcher knife into her back. She had more heart than I thought and turned around swinging a bottle of Pinot Noir I had opened the night before. Not at all prepared for such a maneuver, I was knocked off balance when the bottle found my head. A large woman, she proceeded to sit on me, bouncing around as she tried to conquer her own girth and grab the knife out of her back. At last she gave in to death and slumped over, freeing me in the process. After a quick change out of bloody clothes I was on my way back to Wal-Mart for the shovel and much needed black garbage bags. Finally, I sat down at my computer, cell phone charged and ready at 12:35 PM, only to realize that CST is two hours ahead of PST, not one as I had believed it to be. My apologies to all, especially to Adrienne!

Tough break. (What did you do with the body)?

Yeah good question how did you dispose of the body?

Oh, come now, you know I can't tell you that:)

lol--it was a great story I was looking for more.

You're too funny. Maybe I'll have to work on it and post it:)

Forget what was done with THAT body. I want to know more about the original reason the shovel and heavy duty black garbage bags were needed.

Um.. gardening;)

You must have read Dig, Set, Spike, Block, Serve!!!!
:-)

u guys are 2 funny.

Well, HG, while you were screwing around killing the next door neighbor I was sitting over here in Germany, anxiously awaiting your interview. It was 8.30 pm and I was missing a really good soccer match. I waited. Adrienne kept repeating herself, "Our very special guest today is honeygloom...she'll be here in a minute.." I heard MY next door neighbor screaming. ****, his team scored against my team. I ran downstairs to check the TV...yep, my guys were down 1 - nil. My neighbor yelled over the balcony wall..."hahahaha". I yelled back, "there's still plenty of time, you jerk." He's German. I know he didn't understand the language but he certainly got the message. Back upstairs, "Our special guest today is honeygloom..." Yea, right, I thought. She's probably getting her nails done or something. My neighbor yelled, "Zwei - null scheisskopf!" That's it. I got my drill and put a hole in the wall that separated his house from mine. I knew his TV was on that wall. I drilled just deep enough to insert a small wad of C4, stuck in a blasting cap and lit the time fuse. I had about 15 minutes. I checked the timer on Adrienne's show...13 minutes remaining. Yes!!! I ran downstairs, 2-1...and 15 minutes to go. Yes!! Upstairs....10 minutes remaining on the show, "Our special guest today...." ****. HG's a no show, cold feet! Well, I wasn't going to wait any longer. The fuse was short. I wrapped thick down filled blankets all around my computer and monitor and hit the stairs. 5 minutes left in the game, less than a minute fuse time and the show...screw the show, HG's a no show. My team scored and tied the game. The C4 put a huge hole in my wall, disentegrated the neighbors TV, his cat, his dog and the lower half of his body. The shock wave broke every window in every house on the block. Sitting in front of my TV, I instinctively ducked when the C4 blew. Just before the TV was knocked off the cabinet my team scored and won the game 3-2. They never lose when I'm watching...only when I'm not. Whew, it was close, though.

Stop wasting this quality shtuff on comments to a blog, man. I wanna see the story you could build around it.

Um... sorry for the trouble;)

Sorry? Why? For inspiring some cool writing?

LOL...thanks, Silver, but that burp was only a small creative gas bubble that became extinct shortly after inception. Honeygloom...your explanation to missing the radio show was really neat and, of course, the inspiration for my creative burp. No trouble....just fun....;o)